[ Rugby Science]
At the start of the Rugby World
Cup, a massed Welsh choir sang a particularly beautifull song whose Gaelic
words I could not hope to understand but whose tune I remembered quite
well indeed (thank you very much). Ya see it was my long ago high school's
ancient anthem and, in one of the world's worst kept secrets, it was hated
by almost everyone that heard it - both students and teachers alike.
The reason is simple : the olde
worlde school folk imposed a most ridiculous set of lyrics on a sublimely
uplifting and timeless tune. From my battered memory, here's what I can
remember of those words (with comments as annotated):
"Sydney Tech Hogh School Anthem"
See the Tech High School assembling,
Walls and stairways all a-trembling.
(i)
Happy smiles,faint hearts dissembling,
As we march to school.
Trig and mensuration,(ii)
Atomic calculation,
Homework done, or left undone,
(iii)
And 'manners maketh man' upon
our hat bands. (iv)
All regard it as our motto,
Some forget it too, in toto.
(v)
Still we caution voce soto,
(vi)
"Don't Disgrace Your School"
(vii)
(i) The original school in Paddington
was almost derelict. In one of those weird coincidences, I later went to
Art School in the self same buildings!
(ii) This has absolutely nothing
to do with the monthly cycle of the female of our species - instead it
concerns
'measurement' - in all probablity
: penis length - it WAS a boys only school.
(iii) Will you just make up
yer mind, fer chissakes! This line used to drive me insane again and again.
(iv) Two important things -
(1) - yes, this actually WAS our motto and (2) no, we didn't have to wear
hats in the early 70's - how 'modern'
(v) Well, that obviously doesn't
apply to me then, does it?
(vi) Latin, at some uncertain
point in time, was quite de riguer in medium-high-class high schools
(vii) As you can imagine, this
line caused an enormous amount of laughter amongst pupils.
Although this hated anthem was
anathema to me at the time, it later became obvious that I was marked for
life by these words. This can be shown vividly by the lyrics to a seriously
stupid song that I wrote with Mr Patrick Gibson : a paeon to Australia's
own government scientific organisation [the bracketted bits are call and
response backing vocals]:
"C.S.I.R.O"
Digging those trenches and reading
those readings (C.S.I.R.O.)
They have got findings which
we are not heeding (C.S.I.R.O.)
"C" stands for the comets
"S" stands for the sex
"I" stands for the ions
"R" stands for the rest
And the rest sing "Oh, Oh,
O"
Growing those fuchias with a-tomic
fusion (C.S.I.R.O.)
They don't look rich but they're
all driving Peugots (C.S.I.R.O.)
Splitting the atom with parts
of an ovum (C.S.I.R.O.(vum))
They're so dedicated it's practically
sickening (C.S.I.R.O.)
"C" stands for the comets
"S" stands for the sex
"I" stands for the ions
"R" stands for the rest
And the rest sing "Oh, Oh,
O"
The world is so big it's as
tall as my ceiling
Look what my radio telescope's
hearing
Some of it bad, some is indifferent
The sum of the angles is hypotamusing
"C" stands for the comets
"S" stands for the sex
"I" stands for the ions
"R" stands for the rest
And the rest sing "Oh, Oh,
O"
Will my high school anthem haunt
me till the day I die? I hope so, very much indeed.
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